We've watched YouTubers, influencers, and Iceberg List completionists fight over the scraps of our story like it's the last slice at a party none of them were invited to. Cannibal Cafe. The controversies. Why we went offline. Every version wrong. Every version confident anyway.

That's the funny part. The confidence.

You built entire narratives out of screenshots and vibes, passed them around like gospel, and called it research. The Telephone Game, gamified — everyone's a detective until the thumbnail needs a shock face.

We've been taking notes the whole time. On all of you.

You weren't there. We were.

That's what's coming.